yoga deal!

Hey everyone, just wanted to let you know about an awesome deal from Sweatbox yoga studio in Seattle. You get a punchcard for 5 Bikram yoga classes for $30 (as opposed to the regular 80). They have a lot of classes everyday, so you can pick and choose when you’d like to use your punchcard. Thanks to Angela for posting this on facebook. Get the deal here, & maybe I’ll see you there! xo, m

little murph.

“My little dog – a heartbeat at my feet.” Edith Wharton

RIP, my family dog Murphy. We got him when I was in 4th grade, the day after Thanksgiving. I remember I could hardly sleep that night, and when we picked him up the following day all I wanted to do was hold him and love him (and get him to play fetch, but I think he thought he was a human. And humans don’t play fetch). He was a part of our family for the past 15 years and was the funniest, quirkiest, sweetest dog I’ve ever known. I wish he had died of old age, peacefully, but he died because another larger dog attacked him, and his spine was damaged beyond repair. We didn’t want him to be in any more pain.

Normally I wouldn’t post things of this nature, but I know that a lot of you knew him and loved him too. If you remember any funny times with him, I’d love to hear and pass them along to my family. Lots of love to all the wonderful canine companions in the world. Murphy brought so much joy to me and others, and he will be missed. There are few things as wonderful in this world as unconditional love, and that’s what he brought to my family. xo, m

I listened to this song when I drove home from the vet yesterday. It reminds me of being a child and loving my dog.

transcendentalism.

Most of the shadows in this life are caused by standing in our own sunshine.

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

Photo from SuzyWire.

more [un]qualified advice.

Because I’m a constant seeker of advice, a learner, & a lover, I’ve decided to do what I do worst. Tell you readers my thoughts on things that don’t concern you and probably won’t help you feel happier with your life. Well, except for number 6. We all need to keep it clean. xo, m

Nope, still not an M.D.

1. Handicap restrooms are treats for you to use if, and only if, there aren’t any handicapped people around. Something about the extra 3X3 space makes you feel like a princess on a throne.

2. Give flowers to your lady friend if you’re going over to her place but not during party time. Booze is for parties. Flowers are for girls on dates.

3. Point Break is a really good movie, and if you haven’t seen it yet, order it on Netflix NOW. If nothing else, it shows your respect for Patrick Swayze. RIP.

4. Costume jewelry is only for parties and tacky people. Has it ever looked good? Really?

5. When songs get quiet towards the end, it’s not the band playing really, really quietly. I used to think that.

6. If you don’t clean your bath tub regularly, it will get gross, and then you will get gross because you won’t want to use it. Keep it clean. Like everything else, bath tubs require upkeep.

7. The moon rotates. Kind of.

8. Holding hands is a really lovely thing to do. But making out in front of tons of people? I’m pretty sure that qualifies as awkward and unnecessary. Unless you’re at a frat party with teenagers, but then we have a whole other set of issues to address.

9. Only be friends with nice people. Why would you do anything else?

10. Pasta Puttanesca is delicious and easy to make. It’s the perfect thing to make when you’re tired, but you feel guilty about ordering take-out… again. Plus, it translates to “whore’s pasta.” I think I’ve sold it sufficiently now.

11. The size of your thighs determines how much people will love you. No, I’m kidding. Your heart, your huge brain, and your laugh determine how much people will love you. Those things count.

12. Under bake cookies. They continue to cook when you take them out of the oven. Who wants a crunchy cookie? If I wanted that, I’d buy Chips Ahoy.

13. Some plants can grow directly out of water. Philodendrons are an example of this kind of plant.

14. Gary Numan is a certified pilot. Did you know that?

15. Many animals engage in threesomes, oral sex, etc. If you feel weird about your sexual preferences, think about how kinky animals are. Then you will realize it’s okay, and it’s natural, and you’re just a member of the animal kingdom.

friends.

As I looked around my living room last night, watching my friends laugh, eat tacos, and regale each other with interesting & silly tales, I became keenly aware of how lucky I am. It’s good to let people know you appreciate them, just as they are, and this is my attempt at doing just that. Here’s the weirdest poem I could’ve chosen to show my appreciation, but I think you’ll find it’s oddly fitting (in part because of the abysmal fish I made last night). I’d be your catfish friend. xo, m

friends in the '80s keeping it real

Your Catfish Friend
By Richard Brautigan

If I were to live my life
in catfish forms
in scaffolds of skin and whiskers
at the bottom of a pond
and you were to come by
one evening
when the moon was shining
down into my dark home
and stand there at the edge
of my affection
and think, “It’s beautiful
here by this pond. I wish
somebody loved me,”
I’d love you and be your catfish
friend and drive such lonely
thoughts from your mind
and suddenly you would be
at peace,
and ask yourself, “I wonder
if there are any catfish
in this pond? It seems like
a perfect place for them.”

life advice. it might be bad.

I hurt my back and am medicating myself with an ice pack and extra strength aspirin. Because everyone’s working and I tried making tacos but started crying instead (once the pain relievers kick in, I’ll make the tacos), I felt like giving everyone undue, unnecessary advice. Think of this as, “The blind leading the blind.” You probably shouldn’t follow any of it except number 2. Men, open doors. For real. xo, m

Dr. Phil, I can give whatever advice I want. You're not a real doctor.

1. You should always read a book. It proves to other people you’re literate, and it gives you something to talk about at a boring cocktail party.

2. Men, open doors. It’s free, & it’s charming. You should always do this for women, even if you don’t want to sleep with them. (Ladies, let’s reinforce it. Say thank you.)

3. It’s totally okay to eat in your car in the parking lot of whole foods or t-joe’s. Ignore other shoppers who give you looks of sympathy. You’re hungry; it’s okay.

4. Don’t bring sunflowers to a dinner party, unless they’re in a vase with water. The host/hostess will have to trim the stems & leaves, and it’s really annoying. She just wants to have fun at her party. (I’m going with the female gender here because all good parties I’ve attended have been hosted by women.)

5. Colored tights scream, “hip!” Get some immediately. Wear them with something that might be too short.

6. Karaoke is a cure-all unless you drink too much. Don’t do that.

7. Talking on your cell while you’re paying for something annoys everyone around you. Avoid this.

8. When your bangs get too long, it’s best to get them trimmed by a professional. Otherwise you could look like a freak. Trust me, I know.

9. Portion control and self-confidence are the keys to hotness. (Kidding about the first part!)

10. Applying temporary tattoos is an okay thing to do on a Friday night.

11. Best to avoid texting instead of returning a phone call. It makes you look lazy and antisocial. Let’s avoid this.

12. One piece swimsuits can be sexy. I forget this, until I see a photo of Demi Moore in one.

13. Feeling safe is a good thing. Choose an apartment in a safe neighborhood, if you can afford it. Date people who make you feel safe. Don’t date the ones who make you feel anxious.

14. Shouldn’t you be the only one allowed to eat popcorn in a movie theater? It’s so annoying to hear everyone else crunching.

15. Charm is more important than good looks. Use it to your advantage.

coloring outside the lines.

Since when was it not okay for an adult to color at a restaurant? Yesterday I was grabbing a quick sandwich in between errands & working. A waiter asked my age, not regarding ordering a cocktail (I didn’t) but regarding coloring.

I told him I was 24. True story. He gave me a look of disgust followed by mockery. Was this necessary? I smiled and asked for more crayons (the color selection at my table was abysmal). I highly recommend coloring in restaurants if you’re alone. It was far more enjoyable than reading, or pretending to read, the newspaper. And isn’t the result, er… beautiful? xo, m

good things.

Things I like today: this dress, stellar’s jays, & North Hill Bakery. I’ve seen three jays so far, and we stared at each other. I admired their mohawk-like heads and their blue color; I think they were just wondering why I was staring at them. Then I got an oatmeal chocolate chip cookie. xo, m

“miss thang, nice dinosaurs!”

Rawr! This balloon is almost 3 feet tall.

Since there’s no way my brother checks my blog, one of my birthday gifts to him is going up here. I walked around Seattle with a set of dinosaur and Transformer balloons for Matt… and pink balloons and a Tinker Bell “Have a magical birthday!” balloon for Mark’s birthday. Who knew that carrying ridiculous balloons would cause so many generally passive-aggressive Seattlelites to laugh with me. One person helped me put the balloons in the trunk of my car because they kept flying out each time I tried to shut the door, and I looked frazzled. (The balloons kept sticking to my head and

Is a Transformers balloon an appropriate gift for a 27-year-old man? No.

causing static.) Another yelled, “Hey, miss thang! Nice dinosaurs!” What a ridiculous morning indeed… I’m still giggling about it. So I guess the key to making friends in Seattle is carrying something really, really absurd that’s reminiscent of childhood & mildly nostalgic, sticks to your head making you look like a fool, and won’t stay in your car. I dropped Matt’s balloons off at my parents’ house without notice, which I suppose was mildly rude. My mom’s response: “Oh my god.” Now time for work… xo, m

so fresh & so clean.

This smells so good, like perfume. For real.

I’m writing a post about cleaning supplies? Why yes, I am. Only because I hate cleaning, and this all-purpose cleaner smells so good that I went to town today on my kitchen and bathroom. I figured I share this with you because it may make cleaning more pleasant for you too. At $7 a pop, it’s not cheap… but it’s also a huge amount, and you dilute it with water. Plus, I figure that anything that makes me want to clean might be worth it. Now to more fun things like movies and cooking. I’ve also posted a cheaper, homemade cleaning solution below that I often use. Way better than Lysol and takes 5 minutes to make. xo, m

This makes cleaning a little more pleasant.

Homemade, Dollar-Saving, Fragrance-Uplifting, All-Purpose Spray
The Goods:
-1 empty 32 oz. spray bottle
-3/4 c. Distilled White Vinegar
-1 c. Hydrogen Peroxide
-1 1/2 tsp. Castille Soap (Such as Dr. Bronner )
-30 drops Tea Tree Oil
-30 drops Essential Oil of choice (some of my favorite choices include lavender, lemongrass, rosemary, lemon verbena, spearmint, clove, cinnamon, anise, sage, grapefruit, lemon, and lime; experiment with one or a combo and see what scent inspires you to clean. I used lavender.)
The Deal:
-Place all ingredients into the spray bottle using a funnel or measuring cup with a spout.
-Add water until contents reach top of bottle.
-Shake vigorously and use with abandon!

Recipe, if you can call it that, from Design*Sponge.

hahaha.

Thanks to Janna for sending this to me (and her friend Davida for sending it to her). Ridiculous. Sometimes I’m amazed by what people make and what people will buy… I really love that it reads, “Be Safe.”

Edward Cullen Life Size Twilight Silhouette Vinyl Wall Decal

Other hilarious things available here. Worth checking out for an afternoon laugh. xo, m